However, being something to cover a part of my body, it can't be that simple. It appears that, while I have been losing fat around my torso, my breasts themselves have not felt the need to shrink proportionately. My old bras, which I think were 42DDs, were a tiny bit loose in that manner, but not to the point where it was very noticeable (this could also have something to do with my boobs making a run for it under the too-large band, though). However, since cup size is a ratio of band size, I really now need a 38DDD or maybe even a 38DDDD (or do they eventually give up on adding Ds and assume that women that large know the rest of the alphabet?), which is of course not something terribly findable. They have one 38DDD non-underwire, but it (a) is white and (b) gives me pointy Madonna boobs, neither of which is quite what I had in mind. In the end, after much struggle and trying on of bras which (occasionally comically) do not fit, I find one 38DD bra that I can live with, although it does give me a bit of "secondary cleavage". I would have liked to also have tried on a 36, since I *never* buy something without trying on one size bigger and one size smaller to make sure I have the best fit, but there isn't any way on earth these boobies will fit in a smaller cup without lots of duct tape and cramming, which seems non-optimal. A 38 on the tightest hook set should do me for now, anyway, but I do plan on continuing to lose weight so I might have to go through all this again in a year or so.
The conversation with the clerk then goes something like this:
Great! I'll take 3, have enough bras to last me a while with my laundry habits, and get the sale price.
What do you mean, this is the only one in the store? Why even *have* a buy two get one free sale if you only stock one of each size? No, never mind, just call another store have them put some on hold there, I'll buy this one, and we'll do this stupid return-something-and-immediately-buy-it-b
(This exchange was actually much longer, but that's the important bits.)
Mom and I then head out to a late lunch before hitting out second mall of the day. At the Meier and Frank (Washington Square, the first was Tanasborne) the quality of the help was not particularly high. I am encouraged by this, as it must mean that the economy is improving, since they now continue to pay wages to a clerk who has a piece of candy in her goddamn mouth throughout our entire dealings with her, and which, combined with her accent, renders her pretty much completely incomprehensible. (It's not her fault she has an accent, our society has made the incredibly stupid choice of forcing most newer immigrants into service-sector jobs where they have to speak English to the public all day long even if they aren't very good at it yet and she can hardly help that, but the candy was her own choice and rather unprofessional even if I could have understood her through it.) Also, she has the damnedest time finding the bras that were put on hold for us, and had to disappear into the back room several times. After all of this (and a bit more which I'm leaving out since this is approaching epic length) it turns out that this particular bra is not, in fact, on a buy-two-get-one-free offer after all, but rather a 2-for-$40 offer. I am pretty sure that this was not true at the other place, but whatever. This being Meier and Frank, where everything is on several goofy sales, they then rang up as $36 for the two, and mom and I went to Gustav's for a beer. But I now own 3 bras that sort of fit, and they may have even been on some sort of sale.
With luck, I won't have to go shopping again. Ever. With slightly less luck, I can put it off until I start student teaching and need Real Adult clothes again.
Is there any way to buy bras without going to the mall or another equally obnoxious retailer? My sewing skills stop a bit short.