I'll po YOUR lite! (algeh) wrote,
I'll po YOUR lite!

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wtf subconscious?

I realize that dreams are our subconscious's way of sorting through issues and stuff we've done recently, but mine must have some issues that it hasn't previously bothered to mention to me because, the fuck, I had weird dreams last night. Alas, I took a shower and now much of it is gone,

but I do recall the following aspects:

I was a man, and eating a lobster for the first time. Some friend of mine said I should really try crawfish then, so we magically and instantaneously went to some big all you can eat crawfish feed. However, for some reason, the crawfish were covered in dark brown fur, which I announced I was going to get as much of as possible and keep. My friend (and everyone else there) was shocked, as it is apparently illegal to keep crawfish fur (although just fine to eat them in vast quantities). To redeem myself, I grabbed two chicken bones and amused a toddler by telling a story with them, just to let everyone know the kind of decent person I generally was. Apparently it worked, and resolved that dream.

There was also a dream in which there was some music video competition, and somehow Heather Alexander had a video in it so I was going to watch it. However, the video my dream chose to show me was instead supposed to be of the Futurama theme song (which, was, in this case, a really horrible love song) and Tiffani Amber-Thiessen (with Saved by the Bell era hair) was in it.

Then I dreamed that I got woken up by my mother and needed to go over to grammy's for breakfast. However, I ran up to my apartment (which was much like a beach condo) to make myself some toast first, because I didn't trust that breakfast would have any reasonable food at it. I also remembering wishing I had a microwave, although I had several other random small appliances. Anyway, I made myself a piece of toast in a toaster that was a small box made by Sunbeam where you put the toast on the little levers and closed the door, and it flipped the toast a lot and made these clicking noises. This was clearly a very old appliance, and was harvest gold. Then I tried to decide what to put on my toast. I wanted butter and honey, but I decided the honey would be too old and gross by itself, and I didn't have any real butter, only some clear liquid in a little jar labeled "butter letter", and I figured it would probably be pretty gross too. Finally I just stuffed the toast in my mouth plain because my mom came up to yell at me for not being at breakfast yet. She also informed me that we might be going out with her friend Barbara and her daughter Emilie for dinner, but she wasn't sure she could find a place we could all eat at, because Emilie was apparently a vegetarian and also just found out she was allergic to "horse nuts" (by which I hope my subconscious meant "horse chestnuts"), so she was having a hard time of it.

Then I had a dream in which my dad took me to some really formal business thing, where I met another Saved by the Bell cast member (Mark-Paul Gosslear) and his older brother, because our dads worked together. I was frantically trying to come up with something intelligent to say (since I was supposed to impress them in order to try to get a new job) when my alarm went off.

Clearly, my subconscious has a completely different fantasy life than I do.
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